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| Some of the people in my life make me so sick. The one always pulls the "help me, my life is so bad" act. I hate it. She makes me so sick. She is the reason I havent been able to be myself. I hate that I feel depressed a lot now, and it is all because of her. As soon as I feel like I am on top of the world and nothing can bring me down, there she is. She has me feeling sorry for her right away. She takes all the happiness right out of me.
I hate to tell her, but she is the reason that her life is so bad.
NOT ME
NOT HER FRIENDS
NOT HER PARENTS
HER
If she thinks that I am going to go with this act anymore, the I am out of this friendship. I am sick of seeing everyone feel sorry for her, when she wont even get help. She doesnt listen to anyone when it comes to making life better. She makes me so sick. I want her out of my life. I dont want this anymore. I dont need this. This friendship was dying and now I think it is finally coming to an end. It cant go on like this anymore. It just cant. It isnt right to feel so depressed all the time. If that is how she wants to be, good for her. But I dont. I want to live my life. I want to be happy again. I want a night free of depression. Im not emo, even though I have thought I am for a while now. But then I realized that she is and Im not. She makes me feel that way, and I dont want it anymore. So as of today, I think this is over.
I feel so bored. I swear if this sickness goes on much longer, I think I am going to die. I cant take it anymore. Everything is killing me. The pain is everywhere now. I dont even know what I have anymore. All I know is that when ever I cough, everything hurts. I dont know how much longer this can go on for. And dont feel sorry for me, I hate when people do. I dont need sorries... I dont need peoples sympothy. I know so many more people who deserve it more then me. I am one of the last people who should be getting a sorry in life. I owe so many, to so many different people. And sadly, I dont think I will ever be able to give that sorry to some people... Yes this is the reason for why I hate when people say sorry to me. Now you finally know. GUILT. I have plently of it. It never goes away, and that person I was talking about eairlier, she doesnt help with it. It just reminds me that I have so many people that I should be helping, and that I shouldnt be wasting my time on someone like her...
I think I am done with this blog for now. I will add more later or somtin. But now you know my reasons for freaking and yelling when people say sorry.
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| SICK AGAIN
Yes im finally back, i think. I dont know. I am so tired. This cold is going to be the down fall of me.
FAMILY LIFE
It sucks once again. I took the wise words given to me by a few people... And they arent working. My family cant get along. I am sick of the fights. I am sick of not being able to do anything. And im sick of not being able to sleep when i feel like i am about to die.
FUNERAL
Welp, my gramps last living brother past away finally. it was last week i think, ot the week before that. It was also my mom's last living uncle. He was my last living favorite great uncle. So now my secondary cousins are parent less. good thing that they are both in there 20's.... I still feel so bad for them...
COUSINS
I found out that my cuz hates his parents too. I hated his also but well yea. I mean this whole family is falling apart. It sucks. I cant take it. I want out and so does he! Him and I get what we are saying about our families. I actually know what he is going threw, cuz my rents do it too! I thought that kris and I were alone, but were not. Our parents dont do anything to us phyically... but they do when they are speaking. They speak like 2 year olds and then they try to tell us that we are the ones acting like that. They abuse there power over us. They think that they can just, i dont know what they think really. They think they are doing the right thing buy standing right over your shoulder every second, but all that does is annoy the fuck outa us.. They dont get that we need to be left alone. I am constantly with my parents. There is no break. And seeing as I am an only, I am the only kid to do this too. That makes this 3o times worse. I never ever get a break from them. I cant take it.
DAD
he shoved me yesterday at the mall...
MALL
my parents and i had a huge fight right in the middle of the mall, that is where my dad shoved me. it ended with me saying that i want to go to a boarding school far far away from here.
THOART
i wish that there was a way to slit your throat and not die... That way i would be able to massage my thoart.
MOM
she worse then fucking sucks. I used to love this person, but i dont know where she went. the one that i have now, isnt the one that i think is gone for ever.
TO THE PEOPLE THAT I LOVE AND CONSIDER FRIENDS...
Thank you for being there for me threw all my complaining and everything. I know it gets annoying, but i cant help it, keeps me from killing myself and stuff. So thank you for that. With out you guys I dont know where i would be now. Prolly in a lot less trouble lol, but it is worth being friends with you guys. So i dont mind the trouble. Luff you guys and Love a few certin people. ^_^ | | |
| I know that this clashes with the rest of my page but yea. lol
www.xanga.com/gcspmcrrox
i put up some pix on there. and so yea....
how have i been...
hummm well since tuesday, just about the happiest person alive. lol
today i am sick, yet i am still happy.
I am a lil worried... Yesterday my cuz had a sezier in his gym class. His teacher told my aunt that in his 26 years of teaching, that was the worst one he eva saw... But now my cuz is outa the hospital, and i feel a lil better. so yea...
Other then all that. nothing to new... So i will add more later. and dam i think i like this color now. I once loved the color blue, and well i still do. lol | | |
| CONCERT
it was awsome i loved it. my dad said that it sucked.. i told him to stuff it and that he didnt have to go. so yea.. he shut up really fast
the place where the concert was, was fucking amazing looking. all the ceilings were hand carvered and all the painting were well just plain beautiful.
INXS
they are awsome. love them.. JD was so cute!!!!! lmao so yea... | | |
| Life,
Hope,
Truth,
Trust,
Faith,
Pride,
Love,
Lust,
Pain,---> Keep Movin On!
Hate,
Lies,
Guilt,
Laugh,
Cry,
Live,
Die...
these words mean a lot to me, so dont mess with them! | | |
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